Light and Dark

We are all light and dark. Most of us seek the light but some like to stay buried in darkness. Most days i try to stay in the light but to day is one of those BLAH days. Maybe if i write and just let it out i can release the darkness and allow my light to shine through. I try so hard to remain positive but subjugating my self to socially depressing websites can sure suck any good intentions right out of you some days. Starting today i am just going to write on my blog and if any one wants to follow and comment i will be happy to hear any positive or constructive input you can offer. I started reading AWARENESS by Anthony De Mello in April and i finished reading it yesterday.(05/09/2012) But it is one of those things that you read that must be read again and again. It's not that you cannot understand it (though some may not) but it's more like a constant reminder of how long we have been unaware that we are unaware.
05/11/12- I guess i must let it out..the darkness is still here..i am only seeing light and joy when my children are around. Because they radiate it so immensely. I am finding out that social media networkings are very depressing and no matter how much i try to block some of the crap out..it's really hard while trying to awaken and become aware..i am seeing what it really means to see hundreds of people sleep typing. Bound by the societal rules and so called morals. The only posts that seem remotely REAL are the ones that kids post. Seriously your still crying and trying to gain sym;pathy for the loss of a friend or relative years later??!!!??? I promise you the dead person is not mourning their death. Death is a PART of life, it should be a beautiful thing. MAN was the one to make it into a bad, wrong and fearful thing. I am not saying you should not mourn your loss but see it for what it really is ..YOUR loss that you are mourning. Then i see people posting things to make their husbands/boyfriends jealous..really you need to announce to the world that someone is staring at your ass..ALL i hear out of that post is OOOHHHH look at me! ;look at me! But sadly enough it's not your fault..we have been raised in a society that makes attention and exception one of the most powerful drugs legal to man. And then there are the FAKE screamers..Everyone is FAKE but THEM...all negativity we announce is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves..And to be quite honest the WHOLE of society is a bunch of FAKES. But that to is not your fault because you were unaware of this also. Well i have a 50th Anniversary party to attend maybe that will snap me out of this dark place..we will see. Time to put on my bullshit smile and hope it radiates into a real one inside.I shall be back on Monday.
05/14/2012- Had a fabulous weekend! Laughed so hard my stomach still hurts.
05/15/2012-Had a busy day yesterday so didn't get to write much. My youngest son had his 5th grade graduation last night, then we took him out to dinner.